Me too!
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
