I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
