I wish I only lived at night.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
