I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize