It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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