apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you win again, gameday.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
