We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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