I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize
