A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
