nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
