I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
