My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
