You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
