508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
