I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
