He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
