i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
