North Korea, Best Korea!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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