hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
