Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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