Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
