Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
