who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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