dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
