very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
