Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
