Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
