Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize