both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We are two peas in an std pod
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
