the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
