I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
