beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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