he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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