Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
