i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize