We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
