fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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