we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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