I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
