He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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