these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
