Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
