I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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