i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize