Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
