hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
