ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize