I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
