No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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