You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize