she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
