another moral hangover. fuck.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
