Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
