There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize