You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize