Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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