I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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