and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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